Wednesday, October 11, 2006
It's an interesting idea, satisfaction. Seems there is little to be had, or perhaps it's just that we - or I in any case - haven't the capacity to create it for ourselves. At least not to any level of satisfaction. It is, like most else, supposed to be self-generated after all. My friend says, "happiness is a choice." Sure it is, but then so is defensiveness, rage, melancholy, loneliness. And, I suppose, satisfaction.
I am dissatisfied. With day-to-day responsibilities, the fluctuating disappointment and apparent pointlessness of what I do. I am dissatisfied with my own ability to connect, to draw connection from others, to sustain something so intangible and for all intents of purpose, so bloody elusive in the first place. I haven't the clarity of insight to peg my own responsibility in these broken attempts nor the wherewithal to correctly place the blame let alone alter my own behaviour accordingly.
It all seems rather hopeless. It appears inevitable.
I am dissatisfied. With day-to-day responsibilities, the fluctuating disappointment and apparent pointlessness of what I do. I am dissatisfied with my own ability to connect, to draw connection from others, to sustain something so intangible and for all intents of purpose, so bloody elusive in the first place. I haven't the clarity of insight to peg my own responsibility in these broken attempts nor the wherewithal to correctly place the blame let alone alter my own behaviour accordingly.
It all seems rather hopeless. It appears inevitable.
posted by Mark IV S'nathan at 4:59 am | 
1 Comments:
Man has a heart of monkey.. thats the only thing that the legacy of apes has left in him.. As long as it is there u will not be satisfied coz u will always desire something.. when desires stop, either u are a sanyasin or u r a corpse... And also dissatisfaction of one thing is driven out by the desire for a better thing.... Dissatisfaction with work but monthly salary vaangumboidhu inikudhu illa.. adhu pola thaan :-(